We are all made in His image but boy are we different. The age-old concept of Men being from Mars and Women from Venus is definitely not a myth. Before the guys shrug their shoulders and the ladies shake their heads in despair, I have good news. John Gray forgot to mention that there is light at the end of the tunnel somewhere in the middle.
Hsing and I had our period of clashing of the Titans (we still do!). As we look to embark on the next journey together on new grounds, it is becoming increasingly clear that Mars and Venus will need to form an alliance of sort it we were to flourish, if not at least survive. If you do not find another post from me after this one, you can safely assume that attempts at forming an alliance had failed, Mars-destroyed and Des-vanished/enslaved (by you-know-who). Never have we been more challenged in our communication skills, patience for each other (Hsing will contest that is strictly her patience for me!) as well as decision-making skills on major purchases (Hsing: Shall we buy the red or the green ones? Des: Are you referring to apples or capsicorn?) till now. Never have acceptance of each other's methods, habits, approach to things etc been so important. Never have I needed to face so many 'adult' decisions since....birth? I don't wanna grow up, I'm a Toys 'R' Us kid!
Woa...I am an REALLY an adult now...I thought i was finally one when I had my first shot of Whiskey, and then thought the same again when I first walked into Zouk, and then when I got my first paycheck, and the list goes on. But NOW, I am REALLY an adult now...The real adult-type of decisions are unfortunately rather more minute and routine than i thought. How to squeeze the toothpaste...toilet seats...how to fall asleep...what type of new hobbies to pick up. YES, you read right. These are very important decisions that adults make. The young will disagree, the not-so-young will find out and the old will despair.
To find the ability to meet on middle grounds is critical if I were to survive a marriage! Trust me. I know! I am a guru and am extremely talented, knowledgeable and experienced when it comes to marriage. I am the closest to ever finding an UFO at a MacDonald's drive-thru'.
Toothpaste
Hsing is a middle squeezer and I am abuttock bottom squeezer. For the longest time, it got me really annoyed whenever I had to squeeze up after her. We had our 'discussions' on this on numerous occasions and eventually I THINK I no longer need to squeeze up under her anymore, at least i can't remember the last time that I needed to do so. Des-1, Hsing-0.
Toilet seats
Yes my brothers! This is definitely a topic that is close to your hearts. Just like women don't understand why TV is so capivating to men, we don't understand why can't the fairer gender lift the seat up after use. Worse still, we get accused of poor marksmanship and for NOT LIFTING THE SEAT!!! Erm...cos we don't really actually use the seat? Trust me guys, I tried my best but failed miserably. This is a battle men will never win. I gave up the fight at some point. Des-1, Hsing-1.
Sleeping habits
Since young, I had always enjoyed my music. Listening to my walkman when on my school bus. Listening to my discman on my way home from revision for the 'O' levels. Listening to my MP3 player to and from work. You get the drift. One thing that I still enjoy is listening to music when trying to fall asleep...something that is a no-no for Hsing. She can't fall asleep with i-Tunes running. It keeps her up all night (almost). Over time I simply learn to fall asleep normally like everyone else. Just when I thought that all ends well with my little compromising, I was in for a surprise. Hsing decides to play her own music and hold her personal sell-out crowd (of 1) concert through the night. Well, it keeps me up all night (almost). Des-1, Hsing-2.
Hobbies
I love my balls. Basketballs, tennis balls, bowling balls. I generally enjoy any ball games. As I become older and gravitationally challenged with time, the ball games that I play involves keeping my feet on the ground. From basketball to tennis to bowling...need I say more? My Saturday nights are mostly spent on bowling with a bunch of...ahem...older men. Yes gals, please don't shake your head in disapproval. At least I am doing a sport and not drink beer over a game of EPL (yes, the concept of being active in a sport varies over time for men). I didn't realise how important Saturdays are to the ladies until I found out that older folks (all married) go through the exact same thing as I do with their wives. Just imagine a the comic of a group of men sharing about their 'strategies' to convince their women that they are better off letting their husbands/boyfriends go bowling. Get the picture? Anyway, Hsing and I eventually came to a compromise and gives me my bowling nights while I try to give them up occassionally just to have date nights. Des-2, Hsing-2.
If you still have no idea what I am driving at up to this point, you must either be a guy (who hasn't been married long enough) or you haven't been reading between the lines. As the final score should tell you, a couple only wins if no party loses alone. Once a victory is won over the other, the couple loses. A relationship is about giving and taking but a marriage is only about giving and giving, to each other and into the marriage. The key is to meet in the middle and to compromise when things don't look up. Listening to each other and addressing the concerns that either one may have. Only then do both parties win.
Now...shall we buy the red or green ones???
Des
Hsing and I had our period of clashing of the Titans (we still do!). As we look to embark on the next journey together on new grounds, it is becoming increasingly clear that Mars and Venus will need to form an alliance of sort it we were to flourish, if not at least survive. If you do not find another post from me after this one, you can safely assume that attempts at forming an alliance had failed, Mars-destroyed and Des-vanished/enslaved (by you-know-who). Never have we been more challenged in our communication skills, patience for each other (Hsing will contest that is strictly her patience for me!) as well as decision-making skills on major purchases (Hsing: Shall we buy the red or the green ones? Des: Are you referring to apples or capsicorn?) till now. Never have acceptance of each other's methods, habits, approach to things etc been so important. Never have I needed to face so many 'adult' decisions since....birth? I don't wanna grow up, I'm a Toys 'R' Us kid!
Woa...I am an REALLY an adult now...I thought i was finally one when I had my first shot of Whiskey, and then thought the same again when I first walked into Zouk, and then when I got my first paycheck, and the list goes on. But NOW, I am REALLY an adult now...The real adult-type of decisions are unfortunately rather more minute and routine than i thought. How to squeeze the toothpaste...toilet seats...how to fall asleep...what type of new hobbies to pick up. YES, you read right. These are very important decisions that adults make. The young will disagree, the not-so-young will find out and the old will despair.
To find the ability to meet on middle grounds is critical if I were to survive a marriage! Trust me. I know! I am a guru and am extremely talented, knowledgeable and experienced when it comes to marriage. I am the closest to ever finding an UFO at a MacDonald's drive-thru'.
Toothpaste
Hsing is a middle squeezer and I am a
Toilet seats
Yes my brothers! This is definitely a topic that is close to your hearts. Just like women don't understand why TV is so capivating to men, we don't understand why can't the fairer gender lift the seat up after use. Worse still, we get accused of poor marksmanship and for NOT LIFTING THE SEAT!!! Erm...cos we don't really actually use the seat? Trust me guys, I tried my best but failed miserably. This is a battle men will never win. I gave up the fight at some point. Des-1, Hsing-1.
Sleeping habits
Since young, I had always enjoyed my music. Listening to my walkman when on my school bus. Listening to my discman on my way home from revision for the 'O' levels. Listening to my MP3 player to and from work. You get the drift. One thing that I still enjoy is listening to music when trying to fall asleep...something that is a no-no for Hsing. She can't fall asleep with i-Tunes running. It keeps her up all night (almost). Over time I simply learn to fall asleep normally like everyone else. Just when I thought that all ends well with my little compromising, I was in for a surprise. Hsing decides to play her own music and hold her personal sell-out crowd (of 1) concert through the night. Well, it keeps me up all night (almost). Des-1, Hsing-2.
Hobbies
I love my balls. Basketballs, tennis balls, bowling balls. I generally enjoy any ball games. As I become older and gravitationally challenged with time, the ball games that I play involves keeping my feet on the ground. From basketball to tennis to bowling...need I say more? My Saturday nights are mostly spent on bowling with a bunch of...ahem...older men. Yes gals, please don't shake your head in disapproval. At least I am doing a sport and not drink beer over a game of EPL (yes, the concept of being active in a sport varies over time for men). I didn't realise how important Saturdays are to the ladies until I found out that older folks (all married) go through the exact same thing as I do with their wives. Just imagine a the comic of a group of men sharing about their 'strategies' to convince their women that they are better off letting their husbands/boyfriends go bowling. Get the picture? Anyway, Hsing and I eventually came to a compromise and gives me my bowling nights while I try to give them up occassionally just to have date nights. Des-2, Hsing-2.
If you still have no idea what I am driving at up to this point, you must either be a guy (who hasn't been married long enough) or you haven't been reading between the lines. As the final score should tell you, a couple only wins if no party loses alone. Once a victory is won over the other, the couple loses. A relationship is about giving and taking but a marriage is only about giving and giving, to each other and into the marriage. The key is to meet in the middle and to compromise when things don't look up. Listening to each other and addressing the concerns that either one may have. Only then do both parties win.
Now...shall we buy the red or green ones???
Des
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